tiger liliy's optimistic corner

Fun To Be Alive

home mifgash kishkash blog hebrew dictionary english dictionary music comments

TIGERLILY'S OPTIMISTIC CORNER
THIS PAGE IS SUPPOSE TO BE THE ANSWER TO THE REST OF THIS CYNICAL WEBSITE, IT IS HERE TO SHOW US THAT MAYBE IT IS INDEED FUN TO BE ALIVE?!        for comments-
tigerlily@funtobealive.com

19.01.2008
The Anniversary Edition!!!!!

My Dear, Dear readers!!!!!!

It is very unconscionable of me to have left you stranded in what may seem a dastardly world of fright and terror!!!!  It may help you to forgive the untimeliness of my column if I admit to you that I, too, was struggling with my own comprehension of this corner of the universe in which we live! As you have seen in my other columns, even the most optimistic of creatures sometimes has a lapse of funtobitis! Luckily, I have found the cure and am here to relate to you my findings!!!!

Before the start of this very delicious NEW YEAR (I hope you have all made optimistic resolutions!), I had a terrifying and pessimistically inclined experience as can be read (in a shockingly unbiased version) in Mr. Funtobe's own column (Funtobe, please place a link to that column here) . I ask that if you do deign to read the events of that horrifying day, you leave that strange and ruthlessly murky world immediately or suffer the dismal and malevolent consequences!

So, following Tigerlily's sad and bitter shaming, she was rendered incapable of truthfully leading a community of optimistic thought in the right direction.
Tigerlily suffered a debilitating case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder!!!! Every time she was approached in any setting where food was purchased and a server set out to politely ask her if she was enjoying her selections she assumed the worst!!!! It is truly a difficult situation to be in when one has been a decidedly honest, optimistic person during one's entire silly life and has only been taken into such a heinous and pathetic situation through spaciness and lack of sleep!!!!

Well! You may never have been in such a situation, but Im sure that you have been through trials that test your trust in the world that circles around you!

This is where a silly creature called FUNTOBE joins the story!

It was Funtobe who was first entrusted with the tale of woe and it was his decidedly FUN but incredibly necessary reaction that caused Tigerlily to find her optimism again!
You see, there was a fear that when telling such a tale the listener might assume that Tigerlily had some part in the wrongdoing, and after the shame and mistaken horror this idea was really more than could be born!
It was Funtobe's particularly predictable reaction that fully rescued this pathetic sneep from the horrible and pessimistic end that she faced!!!!

Funtobe was furious and quite incendiary in his condemning remarks regarding the aforesaid institution! He felt wronged himself, and thought that it was "good riddance to bad rubbish". He completely understood the terror and was completely incensed (as a Funtobe is prone to being!!!!).
Isn't it strange, dear readers, how wondrous even the most baleful attitude can be in the right setting?!

What if the wish of all optimists came true? That there existed no more funtobitis and everyone had a lovely attitude at all times? What if, vicariously, something of this kind had STILL taken place? Perhaps not this exact situation (one would hope the those responsible would also be very optimistic and gentle in their approach!), but another situation in which the optimistic creature, whose nature is a sensitive one, was hurt in such a frightening way?
WHO would be there to become viciously angry and violently upset on the part of the poor Tigerlily?!?!?!

YOU SEE my dear reader?!?!?! Even a silly, pessimistic funtobe has the capability of bringing bliss to the generally delightful, but woefully sensitive, follower of the road of optimism!

SO I PROCLAIM DECEMBER FUNTOBE APPRECIATION MONTH!!!!!!!!

It is in that silly month that the funtobe was discovered, and it is in that same month (two optimistic years later) that the funtobe rescued the tigerlily from the depths of despair!!!! :):):)

yours truly (and very happily),

Tigerlily

20.03.2007
My dear readers!

I am sorry that in my pursuit of excitement and good times I have again neglected to update you on the goings on in the world of TRUE fun!!!!

I thought, as my dear Funtobe seems to be currently out of commission, that I would write a quick account of the random euphoria I experienced just today in the hopes that I may convert you all to a path of meaningless happiness!

To begin with, I got up very late this morning. It is an absolute joy to rise late after going to sleep reasonably on time (for me, with so much excitement to be had, a good time for shutting off the eye-sockets is around one or two a.m.). You rise rested and there is so much delicious sunshine coming in through the windows! It is no accident that many ancient peoples worshipped the sun; years of pantheistic thought have brought the sun (and other equally euphoric heavenly bodies) into a place of high religious regard. Now, I am not recommending that we as optimists must worship the sun, but the sun is a fabulous object for practicing your random-euphorianation on!!!!! How fabulous that it appears to be reasonably happy every day that it is visible, and that you don’t even need to stare it in the face to benefit! Now, if you have no bedroom windows you will have to work extra hard…perhaps an undisturbed sleep will send you to the peak of excited oblivion?!

I would like to cover an important topic whose example lies in the current day I have had. I would like to warn against silly assumptions! Do not be deceived! Even the most uplifted optimist has grumptious days! I myself was quite grumptious for many, many hours today…
But do not despair! Within every funto-activity there is some random-euphoria. It is this point that I must make! Do not be swayed by the dastardly opinions of some website-runners! You can find contentment even in the most contemptuous situation! I spent an afternoon being blissfully grumpy! I even spent a small amount of time feeling very sad and miserable…and that in itself is a good thing! Without the opposite feeling, how is a true, open-hearted optimist to feel ultimate bliss?

The height of random-euphoria was claimed, however, not by the late-rising or the pity-dwelling, but by the act of actlessness! I did very little of importance today! Isn’t it wonderful, my fellow optimists? Here, in this ridiculously fast-paced, overly-important and self involved world, I was tranquil! It was absolutely fantastic…only to be overdone by the prospect of a similar day tomorrow…
And here I am, at three in the morning, sitting up and enjoying a meaningful discourse on the bliss of random-euphoria!

It is sometimes very good to be alive!

Effervescently Yours,
Tigerlily

16.01.07
Good Things Will Happen!!!!!!!

My Dear Readers!!!!

I must first apologize for my incredible lack of punctuality in writing to you…
It is inexcusable, really, but the world of the optimist is just too exciting for concentration or perseverance in any direction! The land of the optimistic is one filled with such intrigue as to leave the practitioner debilitated by the possibilities, incapable of focusing on such banal things as writing about the excitement of experience…

One such example of this is my recent trip to Europe…on which no pictures were taken at all!!!!!

Being an American, I descend from a culture so completely infatuated with itself that the idea of not taking a picture of absolutely every part of one’s trip abroad would literally fall into the realm of the heretical in the eyes of many of my national peers…
Fortunately, as a citizen of the Realm of the Optimistic, the central point is centered less in this silly field and more in the territory of creating fabulous memories, stories and anecdotes that can be repeated (multiple times, if necessary) to everyone and anyone who may be nearby and willing (or even unwilling!) to listen!!!!!

This is off the subject, however…

I wish to share with you one particular story of my travels that shows that even when one is not looking for it, even when an optimist has fallen into the terrain of the grumptious, good things will happen!!!!!!!!!

The Story

As a preface to this tale of woe and eventual exhilaration, I must explain to any of you who are not aware of recent airport codes that the concealment of liquids in carry-on luggage is prohibited! Bottles of 100mg or less may be taken through the x-ray, but only if they are held in clear, zip lock bags! I am assuming that the perpetually silly air force-control security is under the impression that dangerous liquids cannot be of harm when held in a clear, zip lock bag (Tupperware companies must be delighted by this endorsement). Well, what can you expect? These are the people who think that yogurt may be a dangerous liquid.
In my sleepless stupor I had “concealed” within my enormous handbag an assortment of necessary hair products I had selected for my journey. Like many women, I have, in my brain, a fanciful world in which my hair and other aspects of my appearance are severely flawed and can only be fixed by the application of expensive, bulky and temper-mental products that must be neurosed about constantly throughout the day-causing severe exhaustion and possibly early death!

During the security check-in process, a predictable (but nevertheless upsetting) thing happened. The obnoxious security guard removed every last bottle or bar of anything from my bag and disposed of them…all the while jabbering ramblingly.

For an entire half-hour I descended into a stupor of depression quite unfathomable to my generally buoyant and cheerful self! Foremost was the guilt of having put to waste the money I had so carefully spent on the set of gel, mousse, cream and spray… This dreadful feeling was followed closely by a fear of the horrors that were to befall my hair after an impending shower the following morning… and beyond this, simply the frustration of having had my own harmless possessions rudely torn from my bag by a nameless individual… It was quite a glum and appalling mood I was in…

Of course my good and optimistic nature won over and I selflessly sacrificed my own torment in order to be a better influence on my pessimistic counterpart. We spent a lovely day wandering around, and a day later I succumbed to a shower and brushed my hair out sans-product…

And GOOD THINGS HAPPENED!!!!!!

It may be no surprise to you, my dear readers, but my hair was far nicer in its natural state than it had ever been with the multitude of products I had experimented with over the years…
For the past 5 days I have basked in the glow of a completely new and all-natural hairstyle…and enjoyed being a timelier, lower-maintenance person!

Do not lose hope, fellow optimists! Even in the face of silly and mindless annoyance one may often find a happy outcome, and if such elation can come from such inanity, think what may eventually be possible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7.8.06
Hello all of you optimistic readers at funtobealive.com-

I wish to apologize for my incredible lack of promptness in writing a new post! I’ve been so busy being randomly euphoric that I haven’t realized that I’ve neglected all of you hoping to hear more about why life is so good!!!!

Well, Life is GOOD!

My subject today is: Help in finding ways of being randomly euphoric every day!

Now, this is quite difficult for many people but with the right technique it can be very rewarding! Our eventual goal is for you, the reader, to be capable of feeling delightfully happy at least once a day over nothing in particular! Yes, that’s right! It is possible for you to be incredibly excited and joyful without having any good reason!

The first step in discovery is to try and diminish the number of those things which annoy you in your life…

For instance, if you are annoyed (inadvertently, of course) by random things you are a) at a disadvantage, since so much of your day is consumed by being disproportionably upset by things you cant control and b) you have the ability to be randomly euphoric, as you cannot be capable of only one extreme.

It is the opinion of optimists that the first step in developing this technique is spending every day trying to be less annoyed by your surroundings. You could do this by first pinpointing the unique things which cause you the most annoyance. Make a list and try to figure out what the top three are.

Let us say that your top three includes the main annoyance groups:

1.      Inanimate actions (i.e. loud music, loud talking…)
2.      non-personal habits (i.e. other’s lateness, obnoxious laughter, scantily clad fat people…)    3. Your own actions (i.e. inability to do a calculation, forgetting to do things…)

Each of these poses a different kind of challenge to the struggling optimist.

#1 is an example of the kind of annoyance whose root you have little control over as it is caused by something inanimate. These sort of annoyances must be dealt with from within. A brain-block must be created using mind-power that can help block you from the rage that is being caused. Take many deep breaths and try to figure out why what you are witnessing might be appreciated by someone-eventually you may develop some empathy (or at least pity) for the object of your pain and frustration. With a great deal of practice the best cases will resolve in the development of random euphoria as a reaction to the original cause of your annoyance.

#2 is an example of something that someone else does which you cannot control, and which it is not in good taste to correct.   The same brainpower must be used to give yourself enough of a sense of humor to deal gently with this kind of frustration. Annoyances such as these are far more intense than those of #1 as there is a face and perhaps a name to pin the horror on. Mastering a great deal of your annoyance with other’s personal habits is making a great deal of headway towards your goal of random euphoria…

#3 is perhaps the worst example of an annoyance one must deal with…
Here is something, which is driving you completely crazy (seriously!!!!) that is caused only by yourself! If you have mastered to a degree #s 1 and 2 you will have more of a chance with #3. Taking a deep breath and allowing yourself the leeway to be unable to do something, or forgiving yourself from making a horrible mistake will bring you to the next step in the path to random euphoria!

It must be stated that even the most optimistic among us has their off days…moments when even their sunny outlook is overshadowed by self-doubt and anxiety, when their ability to filter their aggravation, their dissatisfaction with the world, takes control. There for, it is to be recommended that after reasonable change in one’s ability to accept irritating things in life, a person is free to continue on the path to true random happiness…

Practice, every day, thinking about crazy and impossible things-use your imagination to the fullest! Filtering boredom from your life is key in reaching random euphoria! Boredom causes an advanced level of irritation to one’s personality, but with development of one’s artistic being a person can become so self-entertaining that random euphoria is possible.    A beginner’s trick to this is the conscious discovery of one’s unique interests, and the practice of a quick meditation every day in which one fills one’s head with crazy thoughts… Sitting perfectly still, a person must entertain themselves for an entire half hour without any thought of what is going to happen after they are finished, or any logical problem solving. Pretend that you are on a space ship, sleeping in an oasis, riding a dragon into the night sky!!!!

Once annoyance and boredom have been challenged and wiped away, it is time for the practitioner of random euphoria to spend some time doing enjoyable things so as to embrace life’s goodness with a mind now free to be random and euphoric!

Now my dear readers-I will leave you to your happy discoveries!
This post will be followed in the near future with more in-depth discoveries for the advancement of optimism, euphorianism, excitement, joy and deeply random happiness!!!!!

All of my most optimistic love-

TigerLily

an optimistic story!!!
There was once a peasant who was so poor that he had only one goat
bleating in his stall, and the milk of the goat to feed him, his wife
and their five children for they had no money to buy anything. The
wind blew through the old leaning hut, and in the winter they hardly
knew ho to keep the cold out.

The children dearly loved their one goat called Muttli, and every
morning they proudly went with her to the goatherd who drove the goats
of the village up to the mountain pasture. One evening when the
goatherd came back, Muttli was not with the flock. The children came
running home, weeping bitterly to tell of the misfortune:
"mother, father, our Muttli is lost. She did not come back from he
mountain. The goatherd did not see her any more when he whistled the
goats together."
Then the children cried again while their mother made some herb tea to
go with their scanty bread. The father comforted the little ones
saying:
"Stop crying. go quietly to bed. Tomorrow I shall go myself up the
alp and have a for our Muttli."
Early in the morning before the goatherd had collected his goats, the
peasant climbed up the mountain and searched the cliffs and ridges for
the lost goat. Midday came and then evening, but Muttli he had not
found. Hungry, miserable and exhausted, the goatherd lay down beneath
a high crag to rest before descending again. In his distress his eyes
filled with tears. But his weariness overcame all else and he fell
into a deep sleep.

Suddenley in his dream he saw a mountain-gnome coming along with the
lost Muttli following him. But what a sight she was! She was covered
all over with empty snail shells. The little gnome came near the
peasant and spread out a white cloth before him. On the cloth the
little man laid a goat-cheese and placed a crystal dish beside it
saying:
"take care of the little snail-shells, they will help you out of your
need. Take them in the morning to the goldsmith, but keep the cloth
and the dish for yourself. When you have become a rich farmer, place
the dish filled with sweet cream every evening in front of the byre up
on the mountain. Spread the cloth underneath. Never look to see who
drinks from the dish at midnight and good fortune and blessing will
remain with you."

After these words the little gnome vanished and the peasant woke up as
if a keep blast of air had swept over him. He thought he had only
been dreaming but then he saw the Muttli stood in fron of him nuzzling
his shoes. And when he saw that she was covered with the snail-shells
he was filled with great joy. He would have loved best to hug the
animal, but he remembered that he must be careful with the
snail-shells. And see htere was the cloth, the cheese and beside it
the crystal dish filled with milk. Assuredly the mountain-gnome had
milked Muttlie for him. He quenched his hunger and thirst and set off
for home with the cloth and the dish safely stowed in his pocket. In
front of the village his wife and children had been waiting patiently
for a long time. They rushed to their father, but he would not let
them near Muttli.
"Hold out your apron" he told his wife. Then he carefully picked all
the shells and put them on it. Back at home they milked Muttli, and
the children coud not believe hom good the milk tasted that day.
When the peasant looked in the apron in the morning he saw a shining
golden heep there. When he took some in his hands he saw between the
gold wonderful jewels such as he had only ever heard about.

They went to the goldsmith. The goldsmith was astonished when the
peasant plucked the precious jewels from his shabby rucksack. He
offered the peasant a large sum of money. With the money, the peasant
was able to buy a good farm with cows and goats and soon he was the
richest farmer in the valley. Up in the mountain he aquired grazing
land and a great byre. WHen he was pasturizing his cattle and making
cheese he never forgot to lay the cloth every evening on a stone
beneath the great maple tree and to place the dish with sweet cream on
top of the stone. Each morning the dish was empty. Neither he nor
any of his family ever wanted to find out who drank from the dish.

When the village folk saw how well the poor peasant was faring, they
all said to one another: "he has made good friends with the little
mountain-GNOME!"